Metta Meditation – An Effective & Safe Buddhist Meditation Practice

Metta meditation is a very popular meditation recommended to adults and children alike in the Theravada Buddhist community. Majority of the content available on meditation, especially belonging to metaphysical schools of thought such as Buddhism, shy away from presenting the full context of the original teachings delivered by the spiritual teachers. Some of the content just refer to Buddhism but they do not link the teachings to the original source. It is safe to say that some of us who are into deep metaphysical teachings, let alone the average person out there, are so tired of the words meditation and its cousin mindfulness being suggested as the cure for everything.

These two spiritual concepts have been misused due to misunderstanding by many of their passionate advocates, even though they intend well. However meditation when practised the right way, with the understanding and with the right intention, the benefits can be significant. While my focus is on meditation it is also necessary for you to at least get a general understanding of what mindfulness means as they tend to be presented together in most content. In this article, I  will briefly address the problem with our modern approach on meditation and mindfulness, provide you with the context of the Buddhist viewpoint Metta meditation is based on and then walk you through a step-by-step guide to practise Metta meditation.

Key Points:

• Problem with the modern approach 

• Buddhist take on Meditation

• Buddhist take on Mindfulness

• What is Metta Meditation

• Benefits of Metta Meditation

Problem with the modern approach 

In our modern popular culture, we have this tendency to make a 2 minute instant noodle version out of most things from baking a cake to writing a book to achieving spiritual enlightenment. Our common approach is to mechanically analyse just the physical nature of an experience, extract the essence, recreate this essence in a lab, mass produce it, then sell it with catchy marketing hoping that this one solution will address all problems of everyone. We tend to be more concerned about efficiency than the long-term impact. This quick fix attitude is not entirely bad and has its time and place. It is easier to use Google Maps than trying to figure out the best route to a destination while you’re on the way there.

However when it comes to psychological and spiritual aspects of a human being, this particular approach can backfire on us. There is a reason why in the eastern traditions meditation is a serious practice and not hurried into achieving results with a crash course. Even in the west, the esoteric Christians and other traditions were extremely meticulous and cautious with their practices. You can’t skip school, bachelors, masters and then get AI to help you write a Doctorate thesis. We shouldn’t extract the concepts of meditation and “mindfulness” without having a comprehensive understanding of the fundamental teachings.

There are a concerning number of negative stories you hear from the practice of both, such as people developing psychosis. You can find many research papers written against them as much as there are for them. I personally do not use the word mindfulness even though I use the word meditation. I also find that most  content  available is highly – for the lack of a better term – pop-culturefied -trying to explain metaphysical discourses in 500 words giving in to the short attention spans and trying to support every other sentence with research data to avoid being attacked by sceptics. 

I am sympathetic towards various reasons behind such deliveries but I am very cautious about introducing practices such as meditation to others. Throughout the years working in counselling and coaching I have sadly, first hand come across those who have had negative experiences or just abandoned the practice as it did not yield results to warrant the hype. When starting out with meditation it is always safe to start with a simple and easy meditation practice. It is the responsibility of your meditation instructor to provide you with sufficient knowledge of the practice before they walk you through the practice.

So if you are someone who is eager to learn about meditation, I suggest that you do some background research before you jump into it, especially if it is a meditation belonging to a particular metaphysical school of thought. If an instructor is very enthusiastic about teaching a large group of students ‘an ancient powerful  meditation’ which you can easily practise at home, I suggest that you think twice or ten times about it before practising it. 

Why A Buddhist meditation?

First of all,  why am I selecting a type of Buddhist meditation? Well I have a Theravada Buddhist upbringing even though I do not call myself a Buddhist. The Theravada Buddhist viewpoint appeals to my rational science biased thinking as well as intuitive metaphysics based understanding. The 2500 year old Buddhist teachings help me bridge the gaps I find in modern 150 year old psychology, when it comes to understanding the human mind and existence. 

Why Theravada Buddhism amongst other Buddhist denominations such as Zen, Shinto, Mahayana Buddhism etc. ? I haven’t studied them in depth and I do intend to explore them in future. Well why not other religions? I intend to study those as well in future. 

Tips to pronounce Pali words

Pali is the language used in Theravada Buddhism. Pali doesn’t have its own script and the  texts are written in a few different Asian languages. Here are a few helpful tips on pronouncing Pali words correctly. 

• The pronunciation is important to discern the meanings of similar sounding words. A good example is Karma and Kama. Former is the universal law and the latter is desire. In the west most pronounce Karma with a silent r. But the r of Karma should not be silent and should be pronounced as a syllable on its own. In other words Karma has 3 syllables, Ka-r-ma (h). Kama has 2 syllables and is pronounced Kaa-ma(h).
• When you see double consonants, tt as in the word Metta, they are not to be considered as one syllable. Just like r in Karma, the first t in Metta is a syllable on its own. Therefore Metta has 3 syllables, pronounced Me-th-tha. The t should be pronounced as ‘th’ as in thunder.
• You might come across the word Metta written as Mettha or even as Meththa. As mentioned above, since Pali doesn’t have its own script, most writers try to help readers with pronouncing the words as correctly as possible. 
• If you see a ‘h’ accompanying a consonant as in the word Buddha, then it is an aspirated consonant. Think of how you pronounce the p differently in puff and pretty.
• Buddha consists of 3 syllables, Bu-d-dha. Both d and dh are not to be pronounced as d in delta. There is no English equivalent to this consonant, but the ‘th’ in then, is very close. Th in then and th in thunder are different sounds. Dh here is an aspirated consonant. 

Buddhist Take On Meditation 

Meditation is the closest word to translate the Pali word Bhavana, pronounced Bhaa-va(h)-naa. Highly regarded Buddhist scholars and Buddhist monks, such as the late Venerable Dr. Walpola Rahula Thero used the terms mental development, mental culture and mental cultivation to better translate the word meditation. The practice of it not just gets you to focus on a subject but by doing so develops a qualitative transformation in your perception. The expanded awareness that grows from meditation is not just an accurate stock taking of the physical world so that we remember every single detail of our lived experiences. The awareness transcends to subtle physical, emotional and mental bodies and understanding of their nature which are not visible to the naked eye.  

According to Buddha, the suffering experienced by humans is caused by the veiled or murky nature of our mind. The purpose of Meditation is to start observing the nature of your mental states, enhance the awareness and concentration using spiritual will so that we can understand the true nature of our existence and achieve Nirvana (Pali, Nibbana, pronounced Ni-b-baa-na(h) ). While the attainment of this Über state of awareness; Nirvana may sound lofty, the practice of meditation can help us live our daily life in a wholesome way. We get to see ourselves in a different perspective, feel our connection to the community and the world we live in and enhance the quality of our lives. 

Meditation is not the same as chanting a Mantra. I am aware that there are spiritual philosophies such as Tantric Yoga where a Mantra is used for many good reasons. Chanting a Mantra is very different to the practice of Bhavana especially in Theravada Buddhism. In Mantra chanting, there is a musical and a song-like quality and a focus on the sensation of the vibrational quality of the sound to affect the physical body, emotional body and the mind. This produces a trance-like hypnotic quality so that the person chanting the Mantra can align with certain elemental spirits and dedicated Devas. 

While some Buddhist meditations use Sutras ( Pali, Sutta, pronounced Su-th-tha(h), th as in thunder ), the use of them is different to the use of Mantras. Buddhist monks focus on correct pronunciation and the vibrational quality which chanting produces. However the monks try to chant Sutras maintaining a neutral and mundane rhythm so that they and the listeners do not get attached to a rhythm and enter into a trance-like state which conditions the awareness. Think of how we get emotionally attached to a song and enter into a different world. This is exactly what they are trying to avoid. So instead, the person chanting or listening to the Sutra is encouraged to grasp the meaning of the Sutra and keep reflecting on it during the meditation.

Buddhist Take On Mindfulness 

Mindfulness is an attempt to define and make use of the Buddhist concept Sathi, pronounced Sa-thi (th sound as in thunder). Sathi is one of the eight steps of the Noble Eightfold Path (Ariya Ashtangika Magga, pronounced Aa-ri-ya Ash-taa-n-gi-ka(ha) ma-g-ga(h) ) recommended by Buddha to incorporate into our daily practice to cultivate awareness not just to help achieve the state of Nirvana but guide us in living a meaningful life. All 8 steps of the Path including Sathi are accompanied by the descriptive adjective, Samma. Samma means rightful or wholesome. I prefer wholesome than rightful as the latter has a negative connotation; trying to appease a higher power watching you to make sure that you do the right thing.

So, Buddhist teachings recommend not just awareness but wholesome awareness. What is the difference between awareness and mindfulness you ask. Well first of all, we can give words any meaning. This is why I always ask mindfulness advocates what they really mean by it. What most means by mindfulness is getting people to pay attention to their thoughts and behaviours during their daily activities with an internal narration, using intense will.

This narrated behaviour is suggested with the intention of keeping intrusive thoughts, emotions and reactive behaviours at bay, so the person can focus on the present moment. For example, getting someone to be acutely aware of their actions, emotions and thoughts throughout the day, by using first person narration such as, “ I am typing this article, I am thinking this thought about lunch, I am getting up from my chair, now I am thinking of my laundry in the washer and oh, I just thought of Uncle Bob!”

At least according to the Buddhist viewpoint, this is a very mechanical and forced way of getting your mind to behave. In the same example, your attention is on the I am self but not on everything else that is involved in the experience of writing an article. Such as the subject you are writing about and your personal involvement in the creative process but more on trying to maintain a very artificial, internal rhetoric. There is also an effort to suppress your emotions in a forceful way. I can’t help but think of people who suffer from Schizoaffective Disorders who have a dissociated way of perceiving their reality. 

Think of an artist who sets out to paint. They will have an idea of what they wish to paint, are aware of the canvas, different paint brushes, different shades and textures of paints they use and the creative emotions and thoughts which they experience while painting. They also may notice the subtle textures of the canvas where the brush tip hits. They might focus their attention on one small area and then at times on the whole picture. There is a union of their awareness with the task at hand without separating their awareness and the action. There is no artificial rhetoric involved but of an expanded perception. 

I’m not saying the ‘I am’ statement should be avoided altogether. When used in affirmations the right way they can be very effective. But not during all waking hours. Some believe that this forced mindfulness practice is a type of Buddhist meditation. I disagree. Samma Sathi, the wholesome awareness and Bhavana, the mental culture are two different concepts but are related to each other. Wholesome awareness can be attained by meditation and the more you focus on maintaining a wholesome awareness it will assist you with your meditation practice.

What Is Metta Meditation 

There are two types of meditations in Theravada Buddhism, Samatha, pronounced Sa-ma-Tha(h) and Vipassana, pronounced Vi-pa-s-sa-naa (Sanskrit, Vidarshana). Samatha means tranquillity and Vipassana means insight. Most Buddhist monks and priests are quite satisfied with these two English equivalents. There are many Samatha and Vipassana meditation types. There are those who teach Vipassana meditations via blogs, crash courses, workshops, retreats and even via TikTok. 

Teaching Vipassana this casually without a one-on-one teacher is like, persuading a person with a fear of heights to climb the Himalayas with good but grandiose intentions. There’s an extremely slim chance that one might survive their climb, as they may have skills they have carried over from past lives and I am being very generous here. There is much foundational work you would need to do before you enter into the Vipassana realm which involves a practice of physical, emotional and mental discipline. And no seasoned Vipassana teacher will offer to teach you this ancient meditation practice without gaining a thorough understanding of your physical, emotional and mental states. 

If you couldn’t tell, Vipassana meditation is not safe to be practised on your own at home, especially if your mental health is not at its best. Samatha Bhavana is considered the safest category to practise especially by everyday people like ourselves. A function of it is to decrease the negative thoughts and subdue the negative emotions, hence tranquillity. The safest out of all Samatha Bhavana is Metta Bhavana or Metta Meditation, pronounced Me-th-tha (th as in thunder) . This meditation is commonly taught at Buddhist temples to people of all ages and walks of life because it is known to be safe, simple and effective.

The Samatha Bhavana category has four protective meditations and Metta Bhavana is one of them. I have been introduced to this meditation since I was six years old. It is very common for parents, teachers and monks in Buddhist communities to teach kids to meditate from a young age. I have been on and off with Metta meditation. A few years ago when I was going through a challenging experience I started on practising Metta meditation again and now it is one of the few meditations I practise daily. I also feel quite comfortable introducing my clients to this particular meditation as it doesn’t involve complicated steps as in with other meditations.

The meaning of Metta ( Sanskrit, Maitri ) means loving-kindness. It is not the love we feel towards a romantic partner but a love that is infused with kindness towards fellow human beings and the rest of the sentient beings in the cosmos. Metta is a take from the Pali word Mitta meaning friend. Metta is also considered one of The Four Noble Attitudes ( Cattari Brahmavihara, pronounced Cha-th-thaa-ri Bra-h-ma(h) vi-haa-ra(h) ) of Buddhism. Metta meditation can also be considered as a heart centred meditation as this loving-kindness is a higher order spiritual emotion.

Benefits Of Metta Meditation

The way of practising Metta Bhavana is presented in Karaniyametta Sutta ( Pronounced, Ka-ra-nee-ya-me-th-tha) and the benefits of practising Metta Bhavana is presented in the Mettanisamsa Sutta ( Me-th-thaa-ni-san-sa(h) )in the Pali Canon, which is the collection of the scriptures of Buddha’s discourses. Before we get into the technique let’s explore the benefits according to Buddhism:

1. Will fall asleep with ease
2. Will wake-up with ease
3. Will sleep well without seeing nightmares
4. Will come across as pleasant to humans 
5. Will come across as pleasant to non-humans
6. Will be protected by deities and devas
7. Will not come to harm by weapons, poisons and fire
8. Will be able to focus and concentrate with ease
9. The facial expressions will become serene 
10. Will remain aware and collected when transitioning to death
11. Even if the Arhant state (attaining enlightenment/nirvana) is not achieved, will be reborn in higher realms”

I mean, don’t you feel set for life after reading these benefits? In all seriousness, I can understand that some of the benefits might sound quite difficult to come into terms with for the one who is not very familiar with spiritual and metaphysical teachings. It is easier for me to welcome these ideas not just because of my upbringing but also because I am a student of metaphysical teachings.

We all have that one recipe we have near perfected that we cook for pretty much any occasion under the Sun. Mine is my hasselback potato recipe. Every other person and their partner asks me for the recipe. I cook it when I’m not in a hurry as well as when I am in a hurry. Metta meditation is my hasselback potatoes for any occasion with anyone. From a practical down to earth experience, I have found this particular meditation significantly helpful. 

Why Do I Think Metta Meditation Is Safe AND Effective ? 

• Ability to subdue the intense emotional currents without repressing them but by reflecting on a higher order emotion.
• This subduing of the emotions helps to slow down the momentum of the thoughts
• When you sort of slow down the emotions and the thoughts, it is easier to become aware of the hardwired behavioural responses
• Once you get to a place where you become aware of these hardwired behavioural responses, you can get a hold of yourself and pause.
• This is the Power Pause. Once you can create some space in your head, you can question yourself, or even challenge yourself to intentionally change the cause of the direction of your emotions and thoughts. 
• Learning how to deliberately direct your thoughts without using an unnatural rhetoric is safer and more effective.
• And overtime as you practise loving-kindness towards yourself you tend to not be so self-critical.
• Once you start being gentle to yourself and as you keep expanding your positive emotions towards others, you start seeing your relationships and experiences with them from a broader empathetic and compassionate perspective. 
• You will slowly start understanding the meaning and purpose of your being, personality, skills and significant experiences in a wholesome way, helping you to forgive, resolve, take responsibility and move on. 

The Preparation

• Find a comfortable position to sit for 5 minutes. This could be a chair or a sofa, lotus position on the floor or bed, lying down on the floor or bed, or a fetal position if you are extremely stressed and anxious. 
• Set the alarm for 5 minutes. Once you find your groove you can even increase it to 30 minutes. But 5 is more than enough.
• Try to practise it first thing in the morning and before going to sleep at night. If you feel overly stressed and anxious at work, go to the restroom and practise for a few minutes.
• As digestion affects your ability to sit still and focus, when practising later during the day, do not meditate immediately after a heavy meal. Wait for at least 2 hours after a meal.

The Technique

• Close your eyes and place your right hand on your left palm and rest them on your lap. If you are feeling very anxious, I suggest you place your right palm or both palms on your heart as a comforting gesture.
• If sitting down or lying down try to keep your spine neutral and straight.
• Think of a person you can easily feel unconditional love or the loving-kindness towards. It can even be a child or a pet. 
• Bring your attention to your heart and try to really feel this loving kindness you feel towards this person, with a soft focus. Do not pay attention to your heartbeat. Feel this for a moment or two, immersed in the loving-kindness you feel towards this special person or pet!
• Then bring your attention to your heart and try to feel this loving-kindness towards yourself. Feel this Metta energy spreading all over your body from your heart as you feel this Metta feeling towards yourself.
• Once you get the hang of feeling, this loving kindness to yourself, softly or silently say “May I be happy, may I be well, may I be peaceful”. 
• As you say this sentence, feel that unconditional, Metta feeling towards yourself. Feel this unconditional loving kindness to yourself, in your heart and all over your body.
• Repeat this sentence about 10 times, feeling the loving-kindness feeling towards yourself expanding from your heart to your whole body. This  should take about 1-2 minutes. 
• Some people are very cognitive or very emotional and they can say the phrase without really using words but thinking it or feeling it. Whichever way is fine.
• If you are very visual, or if it is easier for you to visualise for now, you can imagine a soft white light filling up your heart as you first think of the loving-kindness or the Metta feeling towards the significant person. Then as you direct it to yourself, say the phrase and visualise the energy expanding to the rest of your body. See image.

• Once you have established a loving kindness to yourself, extend this feeling to others in below order:    
  • Just like myself may my family be happy, well and peaceful
  • Just like myself may my relatives be happy, well and peaceful
  • Just like myself may my friends be happy, well and peaceful
  • Just like myself may my neighbours be happy, well and peaceful
  • Just like myself may my colleagues be happy, well and peaceful
  • Just like myself may all the people in the world be happy, well & peaceful
  • Just like myself may all the sentient beings, big, small, seen & unseen be happy, well and peaceful
  • Just like myself may all living beings in the cosmos be happy, well & peaceful
  • May All living beings be happy and well.

• Until your alarm goes off, keep saying this last sentence while feeling the Metta emotion and imagining yourself as being part of all living beings. Try to feel a sense of togetherness as you merge into the collective.

Helpful Tips

• The whole point of getting you to think of someone you feel unconditional love towards is because at first it may be hard for you to start feeling that Metta emotion towards yourself.
• Once you get the hang of the technique it will be easier for you to connect with the Metta feeling and start with yourself. So you do not have to keep recalling that person to connect to the Metta feeling. 
• If you have strong feelings towards a particular person or even an animal (think phobias, politics!) try to stay general and neutral and send them love anyway. It could be a very quick business. That’s ok.
• If any negative experiences, thoughts or feelings come to your attention try sending Metta energy towards them too. Try to remain as neutral as possible. Then get back to your meditation.
• There are many different categories of beings and circumstances included in the Metta meditation in Buddhist practice. But for most of us, keeping it simple with the given categories is sufficient. 
• Again please remember to avoid getting into a trance-like state while saying the phrases. Tap into the true meaning and the feeling. 
• Notice the phrases use ‘May I’ instead of ‘I am’. We are not asserting any state but anticipating and welcoming the Metta state.

Who Can Benefit From Metta Meditation

• Pretty much anyone from a beginner to an advanced meditator. Metta meditation can be used after an advanced meditation as a protective meditation too. 
• Anyone of any age group. It is an easy meditation technique to teach kids. You can get them to imagine the Care Bears streaming rainbows and sparkles from their hearts as they send love to everyone.
• This is also a great protective meditation for people who have Psychic skills. Especially if you do not have a teacher and are not sure how to protect yourself from certain sensitivities.
• Anyone who is experiencing a lot of distress from relationships, not just personal.
• Anyone who is  going through an extremely challenging time, dealing with trauma, stress, anxiety and burn-out. It significantly helped me deal with difficult experiences, heal and move on.
• Anyone who has a loved one going through a challenging experience. You can include them in your meditation and project the Metta energy towards them. 

For The  Seasoned Meditators 

• If you would like to be a little adventurous, instead of saying these verses in English, you can give the Pali phrase a go! 
• The Pali phrase used in the Metta Meditation is taken from the 5th verse of the Karaniyametta Sutta :  Sabbe Satta  Bhavantu Sukhitatta. 

• • Sabbe pronounced Sa-b-bhe(h)  
  • Satta pronounced Sa-th-thaa  
  • Bhavantu pronounced Bha-va-n-thu  
  • Sukhitatta pronounced Su-khi-tha-th-thaa
• Sabbe means All. Satta means beings. Bhavantu means worldly existence of all realms. Sukhitatta means to be well. It’s hard to find a word which translates Sukhi (a gerund of the word Sukha) accurately as it means a state of happiness, wellness and peace. 
• Hence the three short sentences (May I be happy, May I be well, May I be peaceful) used to break down and really feel the essence of the meaning of Sukhi. 

• The phrase has been translated to May all living beings be happy, well and peaceful.
• Repeat the phrase softly or silently as you start with yourself and then move through the same different categories mentioned above. 
• The only difference is that instead of using different phrases in English, you will be using just a single phrase in Pali.
• You can also use this phrase or its English meaning as a protective Sutra or an affirmation when you feel threatened, stressed or anxious.

Did you notice how before practising the Metta feeling towards the entire cosmos of living beings that it starts with the most important person, YOURSELF? Doesn’t it remind you of the airplane oxygen mask analogy related to self-care, where it suggests that you look after your own wellbeing before you attend to someone else. There is another reason for starting with oneself. It also means that, what you can’t practise towards yourself, you cannot easily practise towards anyone else! So, friends, I suggest that you give metta Bhavana a crack. 

I’d love to hear your feedback and progress or even questions! Send all your emails to contact@mindsetcoachmindi with Metta Meditation – Your Name as the subject. May all living beings be happy, well and peaceful. May all of us have the courage, and grace to move through this river of Samsara and reach the ultimate Sukha state of Nibabana.